Archive for the Protest Category

In Defence of Jonnie Marbles

Posted in British Empire, Central London, Change We Can Believe In, Cheesecake, Decadence, Protest, Revolution, Riots, South London, Tooting on July 20, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

After careful deliberation, something unfashionable in the internet age, I’m offering the revolutionary transpontine interpretation of recent events.

Jonnie Marbles sat through hours of polite investigation, gentle probing and media elite slippery avoidance. Elite gently nibbling elite.

He politely tweeted commentary, as it seems did half the world.

And then he stuck a pie in the face world renowned bastard, Rupert Murdoch.

And then all (polite, ineffective complaining) hell broke loose. Marbles, in absentia, was dragged over the lukewarm coals of digital justice by panicking lefties and dreary salt-of-the-earth types. He had, apparently, ruined everything. The chance to topple Murdoch’s Empire gone, vanished in a splatter of shaving custard. Apparently.

But I put it to you all that the problem lies not in Marbles’ stunt, but in the complete failure of the rest of us to join in.

There is a class of disreputable bastards of which Murdoch is currently merely the most visible that deserve at the very least a pie in the face.

Ten solid days of worldwide pie throwing would drag us closer to something resembling utopia than at any point in non-theological history.

But do we pick up the pies and join in? No! We make crawling attempts to intellectualize our own lack of balls. We decry the bravest man amongst us as somehow cowardly. We roar inside with jealousy knowing this damn sexy bastard has lived so brighter in one moment than we ever will. We even go so low as to dehumanize the elderly as an invented class of unables (would you babytalk a “nigger”?)

The problem with Marbles is, if anything, that he is too much for this world. This world, from Tooting to Tehran, should be pitipataring to the sound of the #splat hashtag made real, made revolutionary, made plural.

Marbles, I’m proud of you. I’m honoured you picked up the luridity and melodrama of our transpontine ways in your time in Mitcham, and so fantastically unleashed in the face of an enemy.

A Final Solution To The Dulwich Problem?

Posted in Change We Can Believe In, Decadence, Dualities, Protest, Revolution, South London on April 2, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

People dismiss Dulwich as posh. Job done. And, of course, is.

So, when do we start a concentrated bombing campaign against this heart of malignant comfort in the heart of transpontinia?

But there is more to Dulwich than that. Dulwich has estates, nuggets of deprivation. Kids growing up seeing everyday picketfenced worlds of affluent good fortune. Everyday seeing what contemporary logic refuses them. Ivory houses. Driveways stuffed with penis-extension vehicles.

Dulwich is a hub of rub-their-faces-in-it relative deprivation.

Dulwich isn’t “nice”. It is deeply insulting to the human race.

Dulwich is South London’s premier candidate for redevelopment in the FreeSouthLondon Urban Unplanning report First Against The Wall.

A transpontine game of Mornington Crescent

Posted in "Tradition", Elephant & Castle, Indigenous Culture, Protest on February 12, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

A self-appointed guardian of wittism approaches me. “Wolfie!” he chirps in an overly friendly manner, “Fancy a game of Mornington Creasant?”

“No thanks brother. I don’t suckle the enemy culture teat.”

“Oh, spoil sport!” he wanks on. “Too much ideology, not enough funny.”

“The two can be accommodated.” I informicate him. “Mornington Crescent: The Transpontine Bus Stop Edition…”

And so the game began.

G.

B.

J.

R.

D.

B.

You’ve already had B!

No, that was the E&C B.

K.

F…

Little Ease

Posted in "Tradition", Art, British Empire, Central London, Elephant & Castle, FreeSouthLondon, North London, Protest, Riots, South London, The City of London, The Decline of the Tie, Vox Pop with tags , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

New revolutionary short film regarding the decline of the tie, the City of London, the decivilising process & medieval torture…

Pre-Memoriam: Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre

Posted in "Tradition", British Empire, Dualities, FreeSouthLondon, Gentrification, Indigenous Culture, Postmodernity, Protest, Southwark with tags , , , , on August 23, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Today I visited an old friend. An old friend on death row. Haphazardry may have delayed the execution by two years… but they are definitely beyond reprieve. Bulldozers and cranes – a particularly savage deathodology – will rip them apart in 2012.

South London is a world leader in bittersweet concurrent dichotomies. She is at once central and provincial – or, to use the sociological language, both core and peripheral. Andfore, I willfully believe, beautiful/ugly for it. Much as the Virgin Mary is both saint and slut, South London too straddles seemingly incompatible dualities at once. And where else could be the epiphany of such be but our Cathedral of now & then, good & bad – the Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre.

I set off from my Anarcho-Situationist Commune expecting to find a wreck. A useless shell echoing faintly with former glories & nagging regrets. Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre, sentenced to death for someone else’s crimes: the post-war town planning of modernity’s rationality. Knock it down. And dance upon its grave immediately with the hoisting of a new contemporary development.

But… my friend was… alive! Vibrant. Vivid. Vivacious. It’s a mess, certainly, a mandarin-enraging crumblejumble of not-neatness. What we have is an abandoned 1960s brutalist shopping mall – there is something of the post-apocalyptic here – but like fungus growing in a dampridden flat, life starts anew. The 20th century supermarket meets the medieval village market. Stalls selling crap, fabrics, tat, bits, bobs, gloriously delicious foodstuffs, boomin’ reggae vibrations, and general material titillations, have, over long years, popped up hicklety-picklety/fractal geometry/in your face/what a lovely place. From a ridiculous beginning – an absolute failure – South Londoner’s inherent transpontine truculence (a fair reaction to being an unwanted appendage) has seen them make something of nothing.

This is the exact kind of thing, a sort of “natural” or “chaotic” multilayered living-irony, a kind of playful fractal mix, that inspires postmodernism. But South London’s organic analogue dualities are under threat from a hypercapitalist hunger to continue their project of rationalised – McDonaldized – postmodern homogenuous designed dualities. And to think that hypercathedral of pomo, the glass’d & steel’d mall-centric Redevelopment Project, is going to knock this beauty of a social hub down into dust… Put bluntly, this grand artefact is going to be literally destroyed because the likes of Starbucks and Gap can’t be arsed opening up in a heterodox shopping centre.

This isn’t a call to arms, although I wish it could be (and I am bloody tempted to chain myself to the beautiful red E&C statue when the bulldozers finally come). Rather, I am documenting the faint echo of an already lost possible future. Oh, the pathetic tides we are swept along in.

So, Elephant & Castle is threatened with the ghosttownisation of homogeneous rationalisation. The irony is (and my word don’t they love lashings of it!) that the implementation of this project – “Europe’s biggest” (as was Auschwitz) – will kill what it hopes to recreate. Stupid bastards.

Algeria, South London, Bad Faith & Plonk’stalibon

Posted in Change We Can Believe In, FreeSouthLondon, Indigenous Culture, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , on July 21, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Comrades, another bit of moonlighting for your revolutionary good. This time I’ve written an article about the political implications of Sartre’s idea of Bad Faith for the New Escapologist website. Enjoy. And be inspired.

The Lambeth Country Show & Cityguilt

Posted in "Tradition", Brixton, Central London, FreeSouthLondon, Indigenous Culture, Protest with tags , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

The Lambeth Country Fair  has been deemed a triumph. Locals loved it. Lots of people came, including many from over the Thamesborder. My associates over at the Revolutionary South London Tourist Board were ready to declare it a success.

But I urged caution.

I made the unusual decision to attend the Country Show in cognito. Normally I will be seen at such events in full revolutionary uniform, meeting, greeting, pressing the flesh & recruiting youngsters to our guerilla training programs. But I was very cautious of giving any indirect support to the event.

You see, my suspicions – subsequently confirmed in Brockwell Park – were that there was something retrogressive, and indeed  counterrevolutionary, about the aims of the Country Show organisers.

I am, surely, not the only one to have noted that the South London Borough of Lambeth doesn’t have any countryside. Indeed, it is a glorious slab of granite citydom.

It is therefore highly bizarre that we should see such a celebration of the country pitching up in the heart of revolutionary South London…

The Famous Lambeth Countryside (stolen photograph)

The story of human civilisation is a tale of the process of urbanification. Those who live in cities are simply more highly evolved then their country bumpkin cousins. Sad. But true.

It is the role of the enlightened South Londoner to recognise and glorificate their urbanhood. The South Londoner wryly smiles as he breathes in the smog, views the grey, smells the grime and hears whatever the onomatopœia of urban noise is.

(Or she.)

What I have now realised – all to late to stop it via extraparliamentary methods – is that the Lambeth Country Show is a big stinking cowpat of propaganda against the very citydom of South London.

And to what purpose does such propaganda serve? To repress the revolutionary urges of our half-city. To foster a false city consciousness that South London is merely a peripheral entity, existing for the benefit of Imperialist Central London and the Hegemonically Powerful North. To cultivate the misapprehension that South London is not able to go alone, to break free from its shackles. To foment the poisoned ideology that, like the dairy farmer is to Tesco, we brave transpontinists are little more than slaves to the Central Hub. And, indeed, to make the South Londoners an even more backwards race by the promoting of a romantic anachronistic idyll (which never really existed).

It is the creation of both a transpontine and generally city shame, embarrassment, self-loathing. This is a phenomenon I will call cityguilt – the latest weapon of control.

Comrades, you must avoid the artificial shames of this multifaceted guiltfare.

Do not hate the city and consequently yourself for being a maggot within it. Embrace the city. It is the result of thousands of years of human progress. Roll around the filth with an openmouth, begging, “More! More! More!” Celebrate traffic jams with euphoric dancing. Bask in the shadows of high rise estate blocks.

Pro-actively reject the idyllic countryside lie and fight back against other encroachments they make into citylife. Avoid farmers’ markets. Boycott ITV’s Emmerdale. Make nuisance calls to the Countryside Alliance.

And, most importantly of all, stay vigilant for further hegemonic attacks from our northern enemies. As the revolutionary will surges higher, deeper and harder throughout our future-republic, their attempts to keep control will become increasingly tenuous and desperate and baffling. We left ourselves open to attack this weekend. Our fledgling national identity went out in a miniskirt and the (British) judge will say we were asking for it… Trust no-one. Except me.

Nationalistic Love,

Big Wolfie – sleeping with one eye open so you don’t have to.

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