This General Election: Spoil Your Vote!!

Even this 9 year old boy realises voting is worthless...

Election time! Exciting. Politicians in a mud wrestle of pretended importance. Not that I’m saying there aren’t important issues over which the party’s disagree. For example, I’d not want to be a homosexual under the Tories… (though I hear there’s a lot of that about). And aspiring creative types would be wise to vote Labour, given the record funding for the arts (indeed, our last – sadly failed – attempt to blow up Westminster Bridge was entirely funded by an Art Council street theatre grant).

HOWEVER. These things are mere details, little insects clinging desperately to the underbelly of the albatross of history. There is a lot more profundity to fight for, and Brown, Cameron and the murderous double-agent Clegg offer nothing but more of the same. And you know what The Same will include? The domination of the United Kingdom over oppressed regions. The full throttle race towards hypercapitalistic postmodern homogeneity.

Tina. Tina! Tina? TINA!! There Is No Alternative.

Or is there…?

South Londoners and associated comrades. I urge you all know to follow my lead of liberation: SPOIL YOUR VOTE. Deface that ballot paper before popping it in the ballot box. Wreck it. Rip it. Colour it. Burn it. Glitter it. Eat it. Blow your nose on it. Gods above! You could even fuck it.

After the election results come in, I will piece together the 600+ constituency results, totalling together the national number of spoils. If the number is high my dear comrades, it will provide us all – especially me – with a revolutionary mandate.

So! Come on. Do it for yourself. Do it for the future. Do it out of respect for your mother. And most of all, do it for the revolutionary will of South London. SPOIL YOUR VOTE!!

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3 Responses to “This General Election: Spoil Your Vote!!”

  1. Your chances of having coffee with this Labour woman are slipping even further away…

  2. Hey, that information is classified!

  3. Hi,

    I’m head of NOTA-UK, the campaign to get a None Of The Above option on the ballot paper (please check out our website and facebook group!):

    http://www.nota-uk.org/
    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=173779446985

    This is an interesting idea – I personally don’t advocate spoiling the ballot paper as I know they are never counted as protests (just as ‘spoilt in error’) and that they are scandalously included in the turnout figures (thus reinforcing the illusion-of-democracy)… so aside from making people feel better it can be counter-productive.

    However, if you are intending to collate all the figures and accurately work out exactly what % of voters have done this nationwide it could be a very worthwhile enterprise – as this is more than the electoral commission ever do and will allow a true turnout figure to be calculated.

    If you’re interested I’m releasing an election protest charity single to coincide with the election in an attempt to raise awareness of NOTA and the total lack of any meaningful democracy in the UK – here’s the vid, feel free to pass it on, all support is much appreciated!

    Planet Hubris and The Apathy Myth (PHAnTAM) – MANIFESTO (released 26th April – all proceeds to Amnesty International)

    Good work, best of luck with it!

    Stan

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