Memories of the 2010 General Election…

…Or, rather, my dramatic impact on on it.

The Liberal Democratic electionerring machine and I clashed eight days ago in my hometown of Streatham. Here’s a photo diary.

As you can tell, the police almost immediately lost control of the situation as soon as I turned up. That would be the combination of revolutionary potential & charismatic leadership..

I bravely threw myself into the throng of media sucklers and mainstream party political droogs.

Two Great Men of History: As I held court with the confused national media, I met Clarence Thompson MBE, local poet, scientist, Race Relations Act architect, housebuilder & first-class self-publicist.

As soon as Clegg arrived, he was surrounded by media, supporters & the terminally curious. I set about demanding information on the Lib Dem position on the growing demands for transpontine independence in South London... But then! Oh, reader! Then I met his wife, Miriam González Durántez. Struck by her beauty, I found myself speechless halfway through a complicated request for a structured roadmap to a referendum on independence. I found myself shouting the words ¡Miriam es guapa! She smiled at me, blushed even. For a brief moment of intense hunger our eyes met through my aviator sunglasses. And she was gone...

Miriam is clearly caught up with me. She can't even look at her husband. Their marriage is clearly on the rocks. This is what a charismatic revolutionary can do when he swaggers into your life...

And, so, Miriam my sweetest rose petal. How about it? You. Me. My three other wifes. The top secret Anarcho-Situationist Commune. Candlelit debates about tenuous technicalities of European law, followed by passionate, grinding, Jupiter-moving Love Making. I know you read this blog Miriam. Take me. Take me NOW.

I guess, in a way, I should feel sorry for Clegg. He swung into Streatham on a wave of Cleggmania, but limped out – his wife in love with a heroic revolutionary type, his poll ratings crashing from close to 30% to Thursday’s 23%, and now he finds himself in a bit of a no-win situation regarding the difficult coalition negotiations…

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Memories of the 2010 General Election…”

  1. Chris Thomson Says:

    My word you’ve found your Dulcinea it seems. Did you invite her to tryst with you at the Brixton Windmill ? Can I be Sancho….or Rosinante ? lol

  2. I am certainly auditioning for a South London Sancho. A Slancho, if you will.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: