Exclusive: Kate’s Dress

Having come across certain information thanks to certain minions riffling through certain important bins, I can unofficially announce who has designed digestive biscuit vagina’d Kate Middleton’s wedding dress…

Andres Serrano!

Yes, indeed. At posh o’clock Kate, having been lowered into Westminster Abbey by crane, will be wheeled down the aisle in a very special art installation. Crucified on a wooden cross and submerged in a vat of royal urine. Not unlike the past week’s experience of being alive in this teetering, shameful city.


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