Archive for the Greater South London Category

Sun Ra’s Pink Elephants

Posted in Art, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, London Mayor 2012, South London with tags , on January 28, 2012 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

An unofficial anthem for Elephant & Castle…

Which brings to mind the massive potential Sun Ra offers as a creative inspiration for heterodox election campaign videos. Imagine a transpontine flavoured version of…

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New Digital Drug Threat

Posted in "Tradition", Drugs, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, i-Doser, Indigenous Culture, North London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , on July 17, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

South London has many enemies. North London. The British Imperialist State. Postmodernists. Spanish Royalists. The old bill. Milton Keynes. Smart-Alec satirists like Chris Morris. The hitherto unrealised threat of SS Zombies.

But if there’s one threat that appalls me most, it’s the drug threat.

Too many times I’ve seen a potential freedom fighter drugbuggered in a fuckshop doorway, startled, halucinating, begging for le coup de grâce

Too many times I’ve spent myself in the desperate mouth of some wide-eyed crackwhore. A wasted potential wife and mother of revolutionary cannonfodder. Tragic…

It’s heartbreaking for a revolutionary nationalist to see his people end up like this. Every drug-related death in South London is a splattering of vomit-choke on the sacred transpontine flag.

Over the last decade I have been involved in numerous anti-drug efforts within our glorious half-city.

Transpontine Anti-Rectal Transportation (TART) was a movement aimed at raising awareness and general panic about the smuggling of drugs by placing “packages” (packages of drugs) in the anus of a drugmule who would then fly into Gatwick and spread drugfilth round South London.

South London: Achtung! Coke Kills (SLACK) was another awareness-raising drive centering around the white powdered devil, cocaine. Briefly reached the nationals after we staged the death of  a 6 year old girl in Camberwell. (NB: allegations that I stole the money raised in Liverpool following the girl’s “death” were never proven, so please stop e-mailing me about it).

Heroin Only Troubles Proletarians And Not The Suburbs (HOTPANTS) is a brave and on-going campaign loosely inspired by Theodore W. Adorno. It is aimed at protecting South London’s revolutionary heartlands from “smack” whilst encouraging it to run riot like a syringed demon through our decadently bourgeois outskirts (Richmond, Purley etc.) so that it may encourage the creation of an elite revolutionism akin to the hedonistic culture of Weimar Berlin. Or, at the very least, stop the fuckers voting Tory.

But now, the drugs have evolved. And so must our efforts.

Here’s our new enemy: http://www.i-doser.com/ Looks silly, doesn’t it…? Might even be a practical joke. But it isn’t. These sick geek bastards have somehow managed to digitize the effects of various drugfucks into mp3 audio files, which they sell. And not only sell, but sell AT A PRICE.

So, what happens? i-Dosers, as the addicts are known, lay motionless – presumably starkers naked as well – with headphones on while listening to some crazy shit called “binaural sound clips” from the online filthdealer, for 10-minute periods. Possibly more. Give them time and I’m sure we’ll hear reports of whole fortnights spent drugfucked listening to a Wagnerian Ring Cycle of bleepbleepbleep braincraze. And just imagine the pressure sores from the headphones.

And how long until the phrase overidose comes into usage? Well, there it is. I’ve fucking coined it.

Here’s a video of a young man getting headfucked off his tits…

Doesn’t look fun, does it kids?!!

So, come on my transpontine motherfuckers! We need to do something about this latest threat to our revolutionary potential. E-mail me at freesouthlondon@gmail.com (I’ll have the drugfilter ON) and we’ll arrange the trashing of a computer shop.

I’m going to spend the weekend going round South London throwing a warm blanket round anyone with headphones and then take them to the temporary i-Doser Rehabilitation & Re-Education Unit at the Anarcho-Situationist Commune.

Peace & Love. And a War on Drugs.

(Read more about it here, here & here.)

Note: Mr. Moneypenny would like to state that cannabis, marijuana, skunk, funky cigarettes etc. are NOT drugs. They are important parts of our transpontine culture, and to fight against it is akin to genocide. And Mr. Moneypenny would like to further rally against recent allegations that he got very stoned the other night on a mere half of a small joint. That is an insult to his Caribbean heritage.

Embracing The Big Society

Posted in Central London, Change We Can Believe In, Clapham, Croydon, FreeSouthLondon, General Election 2010, Greater South London, South London, Tories, Tory Government, Waterloo with tags , , , , on May 21, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Comrades, it is with not a little difficulty that I have decided to make the best of a bad situation.

I have decided to embrace the Cameron administration’s fuzzy “Big Society” idea. And I make no apologies for using the word, “idea”. In its vaguest possible sense.

Anyway.

I am embracing “Big Society”. I shall conveniently ignore the fact it’s essentially a wishy-washy PR cover up for an intensification of the neoliberal accumulation & centralisation of wealth and power. Rather, I shall make like a village idiot and throw myself spreadeagled into the warm bossum of what will now be, I am sure, an explosion of volunturism to replace essential public services.

If you believe in something enough, it will happen. Yes?

I and my three beautiful wives will be available in four of South London’s busiest train stations (London Bridge, Waterloo, Clapham Junction & East Croydon) during the evening rushhour Monday to Friday, selling our handjob services to relieve stressed commuters after a hard day’s slog at the core abstract furnace of hypercapitalism. With the money we scrape together we will subsequently try our best to fund numerous services in our glorious half-city, including care of the elderly & benefit payments for the mentally ill.

I am willing to be whatever South London needs me to be…

It's BIG SOCIETY time!!!!

Sutton & Cheam, Gay Exorcism and Quentin Crisp

Posted in British Empire, Change We Can Believe In, Diaspora, FreeSouthLondon, General Election 2010, Greater South London, South London, Tories with tags , , , , , , on May 2, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Philippa Stroud. You silly bitch.

Philippa Stroud, of the Conservative & Unionist Party, parliamentary candidate in the Greater South London constituency of Sutton & Cheam, has had an interesting- and persumabluy cured – skeleton released from her closet. She was once involved in the exorcism of gayness from homosexuals in some rather eccentric Christian organisation. Read all about it.

Now, as you know, I am outspoken in declaring the brilliance of South London. But when it comes to Sutton & Cheam… I’m a little lost. I lived there briefly during my misspent teenagehood. Someone please tell me what the fuck this place has going for it?!

Well. There is one thing. The splendiferous Quentin Crisp was born there.

Which would on a very basic level be appalling. A ritualised-homophobic Tory representing the area of the birth of a Great Stately Homo?! But then my mind turns to his own sense that being gay was unnatural, something in need of a cure, the impossibility of having the great dark man oh-so-desired…. And his hatred of his birthplace. Yes, maybe Sutton with its greyness & Cheam with their mock Tudor bullshit can fuck off – missionary, of course – with this Tory. Goodbye.

The “Decadent & Bourgeois” West of South London

Posted in Art, Change We Can Believe In, Clapham, Decadence, FreeSouthLondon, Gentrification, Greater South London, Indigenous Culture, Revolution, South London, SW, The Clapham Effect with tags , , , , on April 29, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

A young fan by the name of Eddie writes in to ask a difficult question…

Wolfgang: what is your opinion of the excessively decadent and bourgeois South West of London? Do you include it in the Empire of South London, or do you disown it and its shameful ways?

It’s difficult because it demands an uncomfortable probability: a wound within South London. A non-whole. A division. An implausibility. Not so much an overlapping intoxicating duality as a distinct dichotomy between two separates. There is a difference between much of the South West and The Rest. Be it the sweep of gentrification or the longstanding suburban Surreyness of places like Wimbledon, there is something… nice, poncey, comfortably unrevolutionary about parts of the South West.

South London is as much an idea in abstract space as it is an entity on physical geography. Even it’s most defined physical border – the gloriously gloopy Thames – is (in an age of bridges and tubes) a predominantly symbolic border. But I would imagine all interpretations of South London include at least some SW bourgeois hubs. This is problematic.

Hope lies in the proles. Can it lie in the bourges as well?

Eddie refers to a decadence of South West London. Or, as I like to call it, west South London. I see what he means. But my response may suprise him. I demand not a puritan reduction in decadence, but a reckless indulgeflation in it. The decadence of places like Wimbledon and Clapham is a very (culturally) poor, stoic, boring decadence.  We need a more rugged decadence. I’m thinking 1920s Berlin. I’m thinking opium dens. I’m thinking posh teenage girls on the game for the sheer experience of it. I’m thinking elite-yet-revolutionary culture that would make Adorno smile. NOT bloody Christmas decorations from Habitat. Spread the rebellion southwestwards. I want Walton-on-Thames to be Walton-on-Smack. Thames Ditton to be Thames Shit-on an escort girl’s breasts.

Not-decadent-enough west South London is perhaps our biggest revolutionary challenge. But, also, maybe, our biggest opportunity.

Hope does indeed lie in the bourges. As long as they’re fucked up enough.

Tesco Villages: The New Wave of McDonaldized Invasion?

Posted in East London, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London, Streatham, Tesco, Woolwich with tags , , , , on April 27, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Yesterday, reports emerged of plans by Tesco to set up four purpose-built supermarketcentric mini-villages in south-east England. Two of which would be in innercity South London (Streatham & Woolwich) and a third in Greater South London’s Dartford.

It’s a bit early to comment, The Times article that was mainly responsible for heralding this information to us Great Unwash’d was criticized by some on Twitter for being poorly researched.

However, in terms of defining the mood and patterns of our contemporary era, I will say this much: It is very noteworthy that this report is so plausible, so believable. It seems typical of both Tesco and the generic behaviour of successful business models in the post-industrial period.

As an anarcho-situationist dedicated to protecting South London from the homogenising anonymity of postmodernity and/or contemporary capitalism, these plans worry me deeply. I therefore extend an olive branch to the people of Bromley-by-Bow in East London, the fourth planned site of this potential Tesco-ization.

(Oh, by the way, Tesco Value cheesecake is absolute crap.)