Archive for the Postmodernity Category

Pre-Memoriam: Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre

Posted in "Tradition", British Empire, Dualities, FreeSouthLondon, Gentrification, Indigenous Culture, Postmodernity, Protest, Southwark with tags , , , , on August 23, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Today I visited an old friend. An old friend on death row. Haphazardry may have delayed the execution by two years… but they are definitely beyond reprieve. Bulldozers and cranes – a particularly savage deathodology – will rip them apart in 2012.

South London is a world leader in bittersweet concurrent dichotomies. She is at once central and provincial – or, to use the sociological language, both core and peripheral. Andfore, I willfully believe, beautiful/ugly for it. Much as the Virgin Mary is both saint and slut, South London too straddles seemingly incompatible dualities at once. And where else could be the epiphany of such be but our Cathedral of now & then, good & bad – the Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre.

I set off from my Anarcho-Situationist Commune expecting to find a wreck. A useless shell echoing faintly with former glories & nagging regrets. Elephant & Castle Shopping Centre, sentenced to death for someone else’s crimes: the post-war town planning of modernity’s rationality. Knock it down. And dance upon its grave immediately with the hoisting of a new contemporary development.

But… my friend was… alive! Vibrant. Vivid. Vivacious. It’s a mess, certainly, a mandarin-enraging crumblejumble of not-neatness. What we have is an abandoned 1960s brutalist shopping mall – there is something of the post-apocalyptic here – but like fungus growing in a dampridden flat, life starts anew. The 20th century supermarket meets the medieval village market. Stalls selling crap, fabrics, tat, bits, bobs, gloriously delicious foodstuffs, boomin’ reggae vibrations, and general material titillations, have, over long years, popped up hicklety-picklety/fractal geometry/in your face/what a lovely place. From a ridiculous beginning – an absolute failure – South Londoner’s inherent transpontine truculence (a fair reaction to being an unwanted appendage) has seen them make something of nothing.

This is the exact kind of thing, a sort of “natural” or “chaotic” multilayered living-irony, a kind of playful fractal mix, that inspires postmodernism. But South London’s organic analogue dualities are under threat from a hypercapitalist hunger to continue their project of rationalised – McDonaldized – postmodern homogenuous designed dualities. And to think that hypercathedral of pomo, the glass’d & steel’d mall-centric Redevelopment Project, is going to knock this beauty of a social hub down into dust… Put bluntly, this grand artefact is going to be literally destroyed because the likes of Starbucks and Gap can’t be arsed opening up in a heterodox shopping centre.

This isn’t a call to arms, although I wish it could be (and I am bloody tempted to chain myself to the beautiful red E&C statue when the bulldozers finally come). Rather, I am documenting the faint echo of an already lost possible future. Oh, the pathetic tides we are swept along in.

So, Elephant & Castle is threatened with the ghosttownisation of homogeneous rationalisation. The irony is (and my word don’t they love lashings of it!) that the implementation of this project – “Europe’s biggest” (as was Auschwitz) – will kill what it hopes to recreate. Stupid bastards.

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New Digital Drug Threat

Posted in "Tradition", Drugs, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, i-Doser, Indigenous Culture, North London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , on July 17, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

South London has many enemies. North London. The British Imperialist State. Postmodernists. Spanish Royalists. The old bill. Milton Keynes. Smart-Alec satirists like Chris Morris. The hitherto unrealised threat of SS Zombies.

But if there’s one threat that appalls me most, it’s the drug threat.

Too many times I’ve seen a potential freedom fighter drugbuggered in a fuckshop doorway, startled, halucinating, begging for le coup de grâce

Too many times I’ve spent myself in the desperate mouth of some wide-eyed crackwhore. A wasted potential wife and mother of revolutionary cannonfodder. Tragic…

It’s heartbreaking for a revolutionary nationalist to see his people end up like this. Every drug-related death in South London is a splattering of vomit-choke on the sacred transpontine flag.

Over the last decade I have been involved in numerous anti-drug efforts within our glorious half-city.

Transpontine Anti-Rectal Transportation (TART) was a movement aimed at raising awareness and general panic about the smuggling of drugs by placing “packages” (packages of drugs) in the anus of a drugmule who would then fly into Gatwick and spread drugfilth round South London.

South London: Achtung! Coke Kills (SLACK) was another awareness-raising drive centering around the white powdered devil, cocaine. Briefly reached the nationals after we staged the death of  a 6 year old girl in Camberwell. (NB: allegations that I stole the money raised in Liverpool following the girl’s “death” were never proven, so please stop e-mailing me about it).

Heroin Only Troubles Proletarians And Not The Suburbs (HOTPANTS) is a brave and on-going campaign loosely inspired by Theodore W. Adorno. It is aimed at protecting South London’s revolutionary heartlands from “smack” whilst encouraging it to run riot like a syringed demon through our decadently bourgeois outskirts (Richmond, Purley etc.) so that it may encourage the creation of an elite revolutionism akin to the hedonistic culture of Weimar Berlin. Or, at the very least, stop the fuckers voting Tory.

But now, the drugs have evolved. And so must our efforts.

Here’s our new enemy: http://www.i-doser.com/ Looks silly, doesn’t it…? Might even be a practical joke. But it isn’t. These sick geek bastards have somehow managed to digitize the effects of various drugfucks into mp3 audio files, which they sell. And not only sell, but sell AT A PRICE.

So, what happens? i-Dosers, as the addicts are known, lay motionless – presumably starkers naked as well – with headphones on while listening to some crazy shit called “binaural sound clips” from the online filthdealer, for 10-minute periods. Possibly more. Give them time and I’m sure we’ll hear reports of whole fortnights spent drugfucked listening to a Wagnerian Ring Cycle of bleepbleepbleep braincraze. And just imagine the pressure sores from the headphones.

And how long until the phrase overidose comes into usage? Well, there it is. I’ve fucking coined it.

Here’s a video of a young man getting headfucked off his tits…

Doesn’t look fun, does it kids?!!

So, come on my transpontine motherfuckers! We need to do something about this latest threat to our revolutionary potential. E-mail me at freesouthlondon@gmail.com (I’ll have the drugfilter ON) and we’ll arrange the trashing of a computer shop.

I’m going to spend the weekend going round South London throwing a warm blanket round anyone with headphones and then take them to the temporary i-Doser Rehabilitation & Re-Education Unit at the Anarcho-Situationist Commune.

Peace & Love. And a War on Drugs.

(Read more about it here, here & here.)

Note: Mr. Moneypenny would like to state that cannabis, marijuana, skunk, funky cigarettes etc. are NOT drugs. They are important parts of our transpontine culture, and to fight against it is akin to genocide. And Mr. Moneypenny would like to further rally against recent allegations that he got very stoned the other night on a mere half of a small joint. That is an insult to his Caribbean heritage.

Radio Free South London

Posted in "Tradition", Belfast, British Empire, Change We Can Believe In, Dualities, FreeSouthLondon, Indigenous Culture, Media, Northern Ireland, Postmodernity, Radio Free South London, South London with tags , , , , , , on June 2, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Mr. Reggie Chamberlain-King

In this exert from my slot on Radio Free South London (more piratical than a Cornish pasty with a hook for a crust) I interview West Belfast’s favourite intellectual and future Philosopher-King, Reggie Chamberlain-King. We discuss politics on both sides of the Irish-Thames Sea(s). This will be of particular interest to (1) the Northern Irish, (2) South Londoners, (3) fans of hot exotic genius, and (4) all women of breeding age and intact apparatus.

For those of you used to me giving the so-called great & good the run around on my previous radio interviews (including former Prime Minister Tony Blair, professional vague feminist Germaine Greer & disgraced footballer Wayne Lampard) you’re in for a shock. The fabulous Reggie probably wins this heavyweight contest of international jousting. On points.

Wolfgang Moneypenny & Reggie Chamberlain-King on Radio Free South London by RadioFreeSouthLondon

The Hyperreality of Coffee

Posted in Brixton, Change We Can Believe In, Coffee, Indigenous Culture, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London, Video with tags , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

War is all around, comrades. DON’T TOUCH THAT FUCKING CAPPUCCINO!!

I am delighted to have presented this landmark 1,468th edition of the groundbreaking series of re-educational short films, The War On Postmodernity.

Watch it. Take it in. Do not sprinkle chocolate powder on top of it. You shits.

Why I Refused To Go To The Orwell Prize

Posted in Art, British Empire, Central London, Change We Can Believe In, Decadence, FreeSouthLondon, Media, North London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , , on May 19, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

I was offered a last minute invite to the Orwell Prize, the increasingly famous political writing award ceremony dancing, er, I mean built upon the memory of George Orwell’s work. I didn’t accept the invitation. In fact, the thought of going filled me with a profound counterrevolutionary nausea.

I don’t need to go to the privilidged core of the International Bourgeois City of Central London to hobnob with a load of self-promoting establishment-reshaping educated intellectualagencia types to be told how bad life is going to be for everyone else.

I don’t need to suckle that untrustworthy info-nozzle. I get my information from the streets. And, recently, a complicated system of demographically questionable focus groups. But predominantly from the streets.
It’s only a few physical miles away from tonight’s privilidged core event, but a metaparadigm shiftwards whole bunch of miles (metaphorically).

Spinning in his grave. Possibly. I don't want to upset any religious types, but I'm not convinced the dead can literally spin.

I remain, dancing, nonchalantly on the cusp. The wrong side of the butterknife. The free thinking cowboy rounding up the joint herd of Truth & Hope in the wildest of liminal zones.

Also, I have toothache.

Tesco Villages: The New Wave of McDonaldized Invasion?

Posted in East London, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London, Streatham, Tesco, Woolwich with tags , , , , on April 27, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Yesterday, reports emerged of plans by Tesco to set up four purpose-built supermarketcentric mini-villages in south-east England. Two of which would be in innercity South London (Streatham & Woolwich) and a third in Greater South London’s Dartford.

It’s a bit early to comment, The Times article that was mainly responsible for heralding this information to us Great Unwash’d was criticized by some on Twitter for being poorly researched.

However, in terms of defining the mood and patterns of our contemporary era, I will say this much: It is very noteworthy that this report is so plausible, so believable. It seems typical of both Tesco and the generic behaviour of successful business models in the post-industrial period.

As an anarcho-situationist dedicated to protecting South London from the homogenising anonymity of postmodernity and/or contemporary capitalism, these plans worry me deeply. I therefore extend an olive branch to the people of Bromley-by-Bow in East London, the fourth planned site of this potential Tesco-ization.

(Oh, by the way, Tesco Value cheesecake is absolute crap.)

The Gentrification of Clapham?

Posted in 34496088, Art, British Empire, Change We Can Believe In, Cheesecake, Clapham, Coffee, Dualities, FreeSouthLondon, Gentrification, Gumbo, Indigenous Culture, London Underground, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London, The Clapham Effect, The Lambeth Walk. Oi!, Video, Vox Pop with tags , , , , , , , , on April 19, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

I, Wolfgang Moneypenny, took a revolutionary tour of the Clapham Common area last week. Here, pulsating with the roaring flames of truth, is the video of said event. It is something fairly remarkable. Intense. Never before have I felt so alive, so in love with my beautiful transpontine motherland.  The dualities of South London literally came vigorously alive on tape. Several innocent  bystanders shat themselves with joy/fear.

Oh well! You have to guillotine a few eggs to rape an omelette.