Archive for the Revolution Category

In Defence of Jonnie Marbles

Posted in British Empire, Central London, Change We Can Believe In, Cheesecake, Decadence, Protest, Revolution, Riots, South London, Tooting on July 20, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

After careful deliberation, something unfashionable in the internet age, I’m offering the revolutionary transpontine interpretation of recent events.

Jonnie Marbles sat through hours of polite investigation, gentle probing and media elite slippery avoidance. Elite gently nibbling elite.

He politely tweeted commentary, as it seems did half the world.

And then he stuck a pie in the face world renowned bastard, Rupert Murdoch.

And then all (polite, ineffective complaining) hell broke loose. Marbles, in absentia, was dragged over the lukewarm coals of digital justice by panicking lefties and dreary salt-of-the-earth types. He had, apparently, ruined everything. The chance to topple Murdoch’s Empire gone, vanished in a splatter of shaving custard. Apparently.

But I put it to you all that the problem lies not in Marbles’ stunt, but in the complete failure of the rest of us to join in.

There is a class of disreputable bastards of which Murdoch is currently merely the most visible that deserve at the very least a pie in the face.

Ten solid days of worldwide pie throwing would drag us closer to something resembling utopia than at any point in non-theological history.

But do we pick up the pies and join in? No! We make crawling attempts to intellectualize our own lack of balls. We decry the bravest man amongst us as somehow cowardly. We roar inside with jealousy knowing this damn sexy bastard has lived so brighter in one moment than we ever will. We even go so low as to dehumanize the elderly as an invented class of unables (would you babytalk a “nigger”?)

The problem with Marbles is, if anything, that he is too much for this world. This world, from Tooting to Tehran, should be pitipataring to the sound of the #splat hashtag made real, made revolutionary, made plural.

Marbles, I’m proud of you. I’m honoured you picked up the luridity and melodrama of our transpontine ways in your time in Mitcham, and so fantastically unleashed in the face of an enemy.

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A Final Solution To The Dulwich Problem?

Posted in Change We Can Believe In, Decadence, Dualities, Protest, Revolution, South London on April 2, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

People dismiss Dulwich as posh. Job done. And, of course, is.

So, when do we start a concentrated bombing campaign against this heart of malignant comfort in the heart of transpontinia?

But there is more to Dulwich than that. Dulwich has estates, nuggets of deprivation. Kids growing up seeing everyday picketfenced worlds of affluent good fortune. Everyday seeing what contemporary logic refuses them. Ivory houses. Driveways stuffed with penis-extension vehicles.

Dulwich is a hub of rub-their-faces-in-it relative deprivation.

Dulwich isn’t “nice”. It is deeply insulting to the human race.

Dulwich is South London’s premier candidate for redevelopment in the FreeSouthLondon Urban Unplanning report First Against The Wall.

#YourParkYourPlace

Posted in "Tradition", Change We Can Believe In, Decadence, FreeSouthLondon, Olympics, Revolution on March 23, 2011 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

The wonderful powers that be want us, the great unwash’d public, to tweet suggestions (using the #YourParkYourPlace hashtag) for the names of the five new E20 neighbourhoods to be built as part of the 2012 Olympic capital accumulation, er, I mean legacy project.

London divisions aside, I think these five eastside ‘bourhoods deserve names in keeping with their various qualities, individual quirks and sense of history. So after much deliberation and consultation I’ve suggested: Hypercapitalist Megaevent Afterbirth 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

Algeria, South London, Bad Faith & Plonk’stalibon

Posted in Change We Can Believe In, FreeSouthLondon, Indigenous Culture, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , on July 21, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Comrades, another bit of moonlighting for your revolutionary good. This time I’ve written an article about the political implications of Sartre’s idea of Bad Faith for the New Escapologist website. Enjoy. And be inspired.

New Digital Drug Threat

Posted in "Tradition", Drugs, FreeSouthLondon, Greater South London, i-Doser, Indigenous Culture, North London, Postmodernity, Protest, Revolution, South London with tags , , , , on July 17, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

South London has many enemies. North London. The British Imperialist State. Postmodernists. Spanish Royalists. The old bill. Milton Keynes. Smart-Alec satirists like Chris Morris. The hitherto unrealised threat of SS Zombies.

But if there’s one threat that appalls me most, it’s the drug threat.

Too many times I’ve seen a potential freedom fighter drugbuggered in a fuckshop doorway, startled, halucinating, begging for le coup de grâce

Too many times I’ve spent myself in the desperate mouth of some wide-eyed crackwhore. A wasted potential wife and mother of revolutionary cannonfodder. Tragic…

It’s heartbreaking for a revolutionary nationalist to see his people end up like this. Every drug-related death in South London is a splattering of vomit-choke on the sacred transpontine flag.

Over the last decade I have been involved in numerous anti-drug efforts within our glorious half-city.

Transpontine Anti-Rectal Transportation (TART) was a movement aimed at raising awareness and general panic about the smuggling of drugs by placing “packages” (packages of drugs) in the anus of a drugmule who would then fly into Gatwick and spread drugfilth round South London.

South London: Achtung! Coke Kills (SLACK) was another awareness-raising drive centering around the white powdered devil, cocaine. Briefly reached the nationals after we staged the death of  a 6 year old girl in Camberwell. (NB: allegations that I stole the money raised in Liverpool following the girl’s “death” were never proven, so please stop e-mailing me about it).

Heroin Only Troubles Proletarians And Not The Suburbs (HOTPANTS) is a brave and on-going campaign loosely inspired by Theodore W. Adorno. It is aimed at protecting South London’s revolutionary heartlands from “smack” whilst encouraging it to run riot like a syringed demon through our decadently bourgeois outskirts (Richmond, Purley etc.) so that it may encourage the creation of an elite revolutionism akin to the hedonistic culture of Weimar Berlin. Or, at the very least, stop the fuckers voting Tory.

But now, the drugs have evolved. And so must our efforts.

Here’s our new enemy: http://www.i-doser.com/ Looks silly, doesn’t it…? Might even be a practical joke. But it isn’t. These sick geek bastards have somehow managed to digitize the effects of various drugfucks into mp3 audio files, which they sell. And not only sell, but sell AT A PRICE.

So, what happens? i-Dosers, as the addicts are known, lay motionless – presumably starkers naked as well – with headphones on while listening to some crazy shit called “binaural sound clips” from the online filthdealer, for 10-minute periods. Possibly more. Give them time and I’m sure we’ll hear reports of whole fortnights spent drugfucked listening to a Wagnerian Ring Cycle of bleepbleepbleep braincraze. And just imagine the pressure sores from the headphones.

And how long until the phrase overidose comes into usage? Well, there it is. I’ve fucking coined it.

Here’s a video of a young man getting headfucked off his tits…

Doesn’t look fun, does it kids?!!

So, come on my transpontine motherfuckers! We need to do something about this latest threat to our revolutionary potential. E-mail me at freesouthlondon@gmail.com (I’ll have the drugfilter ON) and we’ll arrange the trashing of a computer shop.

I’m going to spend the weekend going round South London throwing a warm blanket round anyone with headphones and then take them to the temporary i-Doser Rehabilitation & Re-Education Unit at the Anarcho-Situationist Commune.

Peace & Love. And a War on Drugs.

(Read more about it here, here & here.)

Note: Mr. Moneypenny would like to state that cannabis, marijuana, skunk, funky cigarettes etc. are NOT drugs. They are important parts of our transpontine culture, and to fight against it is akin to genocide. And Mr. Moneypenny would like to further rally against recent allegations that he got very stoned the other night on a mere half of a small joint. That is an insult to his Caribbean heritage.

PRESS RELEASE: South London declares support for DPRK

Posted in Brixton, Change We Can Believe In, DPRK, Football, FreeSouthLondon, Media, Protest, Revolution, South London, Sport with tags , , , on June 8, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

Free South London today, in a blaze of publicity and with the authentic roar of the oppressed, pledges its support for our most glorious comrades, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea national association football team in the forthcoming imperialist pig-dog showcase of postmodern hypercapitalist slag-bitchery, the FIFA World Cup.

Free South London, being the true representative voice of the transpontine proletariat, is both humbled and inspired by the bravery and skill of the People’s Footballing Representatives as they prepare to do battle with: Brazil, the samba lackeyes of imperialism, sold out to the highest bidder (Nike) and red-raw from the subsequent rape. Ivory Coast, a nation born of European colonialism and founded on the exploitation of the elephant proletariat. And Portugal, the birthplace of vile colonial expansoploition, aka mindrape.

Our stupendously splendid comrades-in-feet have not even been put off by the hideous bourgeois imperialist prejudices & cheating of Überführer Sepp Blatter, of the monolithic ideological trans-state apparatus that is FIFAcapitalism.

We will laugh, howl, delight and stamp in joyous teleological unison as these counterrevolutionist whore-tarts succumb to the modernist supremely-planned tactical brilliance of the Democratic People’s Republic Korea, powered by a new superdrink.

With this in mind, comrades, then I heartily submerge you to join myself and the SLNK South London North Korea Supporters Club on Tuesday the15 th of June at Mango Landin’ in Brixton (twinned with Pyongyang) to witness the Brazilian national team be given a beating so profound both they and all international capitalists will taste the bitter tears of defeat and suckle on the plagueridden teat of shame.

To Victory!

N. Londonian Puppets’ Moves for Confrontation and War Flailed

Posted in British Empire, FreeSouthLondon, North London, Protest, Revolution, South London, The Thames, Wildlife with tags , , , , on May 26, 2010 by Wolfgang Moneypenny

The British Imperial puppet authorities finally issued the “results of investigation” in which they groundlessly linked the case of the death of the Thames Whale with the revolutionary will of South London despite the accusations and protest at home and abroad. This is an intolerable provocation against the revolutionary will of South London and an undisguised declaration of a war against it. The South London Press says this in a signed commentary.

The commentary goes on: It is also an intentional and premeditated plot to push the inter-Londonian relations to total collapse and ignite a war of aggression against the revolutionary will of South London in collusion with their U.S. and Japanese masters under the pretext of the Thames Whale case.

The Thames Whale case was an unprecedented charade crafted by the group of traitors keen on escalating confrontation.

The “investigation into the case” was nothing but a red herring as it was aimed to zealously spread a rumor about the “South’s involvement in the case” and thus fan up atmosphere for extreme animosity toward fellow countrymen and confrontation with them amongNorth Londoners  of different circles and, at the same time, openly unleash a war of aggression against the revolutionary will of South London in collusion with foreign forces under the pretext of what it called “security crisis”.

A saying goes a club is fit for a mad dog. The army and people of the revolutionary will of South London will never pardon the group of traitors getting hell-bent on confrontation and war, dare taking issue with fellow countrymen.

We do not know empty talk.

The reckless racket of the puppet forces will lead to a dirge of the traitorous clique.

Word!